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Everyone Has An Opinion
When you tell someone they are wrong, you may lose their willingness to listen. No one likes being told they are wrong, and being that blunt almost never goes well.
Making Others Feel Seen
We all carry a quiet wish to be seen as someone who matters. It can be easy to forget that the same longing can be found in others. Those people who gravitate toward others are usually the ones who leave others feeling noticed and appreciated.
Starting With Them
Every conversation tempts us to open with our own agenda: our plan, our needs, our enthusiasm. The people who persuade best flip that script and start with what the listener cares about. It's harder than it sounds, because our minds default to our own point of view.
Have An Open Ear
How do you get someone’s attention? Do you whistle to them like a dog? Of course not! You say their name, hoping there is no one else with the same name around, knowing they will turn around to look at who is calling them.
Be Interested, Not Interesting
Ask most people how to become likable, and they will tell you to be more interesting: tell sharper stories, make better jokes, and have a stronger presence. But think about the people you actually treasure. They rarely hold the spotlight.
Make Them Want It
Most people try to win others over by pushing harder. They explain louder, argue longer, and pile on reasons. Yet the most effective persuaders do the opposite. They pull back, get curious, and let the other person's own desires do the heavy lifting.
Say Their Name
How do you get someone’s attention? Do you whistle to them like a dog? Of course not! You say their name, hoping there is no one else with the same name around, knowing they will turn around to look at who is calling them.
Share Appreciation
As managers, as leaders, and as people… there is a responsibility to share our appreciation of the work of others. Without our sincere and honest appreciation of the work and accomplishments of others, a gap is formed. This gap is filled with doubt and a feeling that you may be undervalued.
The Power Of Positivity
One of the hardest, yet most impactful, things we can do… is be positive. To smile. To add joy to the lives of others. It is hard because it is demanding. We are not built to always be positive; in fact, we are built to do the opposite- to point out the bad and highlight the negative.
Removing The Negativity
The very first chapter of Dale Carnegie’s famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, tells the reader that to become a better communicator, you need not “criticize, condemn or complain”.
Transparent Leadership
Transparency is a word I have heard a lot when those around me talk about something people in leadership roles can do better. Is there a drought of transparent leaders? I ask that because I have heard from several individuals across a variety of organizations that their leadership is failing to be transparent with them, but what does that really mean? Transparency is not the issue.
Get An Advocate
When it comes to building your career, growing a business, or pursuing a meaningful goal, there is one advantage that is often overlooked: having someone willing to advocate for you. Everyone needs someone in their corner, especially at their place of work.
The Podium & You
Whether speaking for a club or as a keynote speaker, you may find yourself behind a podium delivering a speech or presentation (or perhaps accepting an award… if so, go you!). When you finally find yourself behind a podium, there are plenty of common traps we all fall into and mistakes we inevitably make.
Great Analysts ≠ Great Leaders
One of the biggest traps I have seen in my career is companies promoting great analysts to leaders. Now, I get the thought process behind this mistake. You see someone doing amazing work, and you think to yourself… “They have done such a great job with their work so far; I bet they will continue to do a great job leading others.”
Log Your Work
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but… log your work! We cannot expect to get credit for things that are not noted down somewhere. I cannot tell you how many individuals I have seen (because the number is too large to remember) who do a lot of work, like a lot, a lot - and fail to note the work they have done.
No More Filler Words
Filler word? What is that? To put it simply, it is our way of filling gaps between words or thoughts. If we don’t know what to say and we are trying to fill what would ordinarily be a pause in sound coming from our mouths while we think, we end up adding in a filler word.