Say Their Name
How do you get someone’s attention? Do you whistle to them like a dog? Of course not! You say their name, hoping there is no one else with the same name around, knowing they will turn around to look at who is calling them. If you want to get someone’s attention… you call their name. If you want to get them to remember or like you… you remember their name. There is almost a built-in reciprocity when you remember someone’s name. They feel you have put in the effort and are more likely to put in their own effort when interacting with you.
The bigger questions about saying someone’s name require a deeper analysis and focus. These questions start with why, what, and how. Why does remembering someone’s name matter? What impact does it have on their perception of you? How can you use this skill effectively? These are big questions that require a level of nuance to answer, because it is not as simple as “I should call people by their name because it is better than not.” While that statement is mostly true, the points below build a better foundation of understanding for you.
Why?
Hearing your name registers as recognition rather than anonymous processing, which is how most daily interactions actually work. It also signals attention (remembering a name means someone retained it from an earlier moment), which signals to the other person that you care. Names carry personal history too, tied to how family and close friends address you, so hearing your name can invoke that context in your mind, even if only briefly. The effect weakens when it feels mechanical, like a sales tactic, since the warmth depends on the recognition seeming genuine rather than performed. So, the “why” behind why you should attempt to remember someone’s name is because it not only shows that you care, but it also highlights you as a better person in their own mind.
What?
Using someone's name genuinely shifts how they perceive you from a generic passerby or coworker to something closer to an actual relationship. Greeting someone by their name signals continuity. When you speak someone’s name over and over again when greeting them, it feels more like you are picking up where you left off, instead of starting fresh with each interaction. This builds trust and openness by acting as a perceived investment, because remembering implies each interaction mattered. When you say “Hey Bob, how are you doing today?”, you are making the interaction more personal. That more personal interaction is much more likely to build lasting relationships, or at least positive perceptions, than the comparatively simple and unpersonalized greetings of “hey”, “how’s it going”, or “sup”.
How?
You get ahead in communicating with others by using this method (of calling people by their name) sparingly and at natural points (e.g., greetings, transitions, or moments of genuine acknowledgment). Just saying a person’s name to get your word count up can come off as insincere, forced, or even awkward. It is also important to figure out the name or names the person prefers the most, and match the name you call them with your current relationship level with them. Some people prefer first names, others a title or nickname (take the time to understand what they prefer in general, and what they prefer from you specifically). After taking the time to learn what they like to be called, and at what cadence makes the most natural sense to call them by their name, you will have mastered a communication skill that makes others appreciate you more (in the end, just let it flow naturally and don’t be awkward about it).
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Till next time,
