When you tell someone they are wrong, you may lose their willingness to listen. No one likes being told they are wrong, and being that blunt almost never goes well. Their shoulders tighten, their answers get shorter, and whatever you say next is filtered through the need to protect their pride. Being right doesn't matter to another’s pride. A direct correction won’t win the day, let alone win people over to your cause.
When people feel their perspective has been taken seriously, they relax enough to consider another one. If you take the time to listen to their ideas, understand how they formed them, and note how their point of view makes sense… then others will try to mirror the same for you and your opinions/ideas. Below are three key practices to help you get off on the right foot with others and their opinions.
Listen First - You can't honor a viewpoint you have only half heard. Let them finish, keep your counterargument on hold, and ask a question or two about what led them to their conclusion. Start small: next time you disagree with someone, summarize their position back to them before sharing yours. You may be surprised how much you have in common.
Find The Reason - Nearly every opinion grows out of something real, like a past experience or a concern. Before you voice your own view, point out what you agree with or respect in their own opinions or lines of reasoning. This isn't about faking agreement. It's about recognizing the sound thinking that's already there.
Avoid Correction - Replace verdicts with openings. Rather than "that's not right," try "I came across something different; would you like to hear it?" (you are inviting them to hear another perspective, instead of forcing it on them) When your view is presented as one more angle instead of a fix, the other person can rethink their stance without feeling embarrassed. As a final point, when people arrive at a new conclusion by their own choice, it lasts. Make that your goal.
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Till next time,
